Romance has to start somewhere. There is an encounter between two people, and something causes them to take notice of each other. In times past, people said, "Boy Meets Girl" as a description of the beginning of a romantic novel or film. Perhaps today, it should be called, "Girl Meets Boy." Whatever we call this first scene of the first act of the play of romance, it most certainly is [Read more...] about Step 1

Where Step 1 of Courtship was about getting each other's attention, Step 2 is about having decided that a particular individual is of interest, preferred above other candidates, to want to get to know them more.

In Step 2 of Courtship, it is time for the man and woman to "let each other know that they are liked and preferred." This is not to be done verbally, at least outright, [Read more...] about Step 2

If all three steps of Sexual Attraction are geared toward exclusively amplifying two peoples' masculinity and femininity in a way exclusive to each other, then how is it that we are to prepare to move on to the deeper parts of the relationship where sexuality is less in the foreground?

After all, many a man and woman have been "flirtatious," but not all that serious about more exclusive and committed [Read more...] about Step 3

For Step 4, Finding Value in Each Other, the couple already does have a physical attraction caused by the polarity of their masculinity and femininity, however, that is a different process in the mind than friendship. And so we explore the basic principles that compose friendship and where we stand on them.

We have just left Step 3 of Courtship, the final step in the very first phase of human [Read more...] about Step 4

For Step 5, "Finding Stress in Each Other," we learn that there is an opposite to Self-esteem, called Stress, which comes form the environment or from each other. It is negative emotion, and takes the form of Hurt or Loss.

We entered the second phase of courtship, Emotional Attraction, in Step 4, where we knew that desire between us was secure, but it became time to go on several dates, [Read more...] about Step 5

The higher brain is the most conscious set of software in romance, and the intellectual attraction phase is most dependent on first, one's personal growth toward character maturity and virtue (Who I am), and then, on joining the best of one's virtues as a partner with complementary virtues that one may lack, constitutionally, or by way of having identified with the particular same-sex parent that one happened to be given [Read more...] about Step 7

At this step, both partners have experienced desire, Sexual Attraction, dated, formed a friendship, been through some difficult stresses and the emotions they cause, in the Emotional Attraction Phase, and hopefully found that they have compatible personality styles on the Social Personality System. They are "best friends" or "soulmates."

They have even gone so far as to work on their own character maturity and virtue, to ready [Read more...] about Step 8

The step by step process of mastering romantic skills and garnering needed psychological resources, in the course of finding a mate, through sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and intellectual attraction that occur in the reptilian, mammalian and higher brains of the mind, respectively.

The Three Phases of Courtship above can be attributed to the functions of the Reptilian Brain, the Mammalian Brain and the Higher Brain, respectively. There are three steps [Read more...] about Steps of Courtship