This virtue of character and mature defense mechanism has, as its basis, not being dependent on the validation or approval of others. As such, you might consider it “self-love” or “self-respect.”

This virtue or mature defense takes all the shared teamwork aspects of the teamwork between a high character couple and turns it on its ear - looking at the privacy and rejuvenation that is necessary in balance for making a couple work well as a unit that takes the time to nurture both of its separate members.

If you recall the boundary diagram showing intellectual attraction in its perfect aspect, with the “mandorla” or almond shape in the middle, then you remember that the majority of our sense of self as individuals actually rests outside the relationship, and outside the overlapping shared duties and responsibilities of the two people. This means that well over two thirds of any relationship in its perfection involves independent activity and self-care effort, which must not be forgotten in the overall process of being together.

GO BACK TO MATURE DEFENSE MECHANISMS.