Sometimes a social habit can be more than primitive, more than immature, and yet, still severe, or indicative of suffering. Withdrawal is like this, and is seen often in traumatized individuals. It is similar to the phenomenon we had discussed previously, called “ghosting,” where males were removing themselves from society due to the pain they perceive there. It might be said to be similar in unconscious strategy to fantasy or wishful thinking.

In this case, it is gender neutral and available to both men and women who have experienced hurt, out there in the world. One cuts off from events, environments, and social interactions in order to avoid memories of painful thoughts and feelings associated with those people and places where past hurtfulness occurred.

One might see this as an understandable, automatic behavior in the traumatized, but it must be observed from a logical perspective.

We are in the phase of courtship where teamwork toward goals is a must, and if someone withdraws into themselves rather than bringing out their pain and their bad memories, dealing with them so that efforts can go forward toward building a life together - there cannot be success to come out of that. It would be like trying to carry a wounded soldier on your shoulders while a battle rages on. It’s noble to do so, but dangerous for team success if a cure is at hand.

And there is: working on the virtues of the Mature Ego Defenses.

GO BACK TO NEUROTIC DEFENSE MECHANISMS.