Romantic Dynamics is a system based on philosophy, for learning the features of human courtship and finding one’s way through it. It is a step by step process of mastering romantic skills and garnering needed psychological resources, in the course of finding a mate, through sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and intellectual attraction that occur in the reptilian, mammalian and higher brains of the mind, respectively.
Simultaneously, Romantic Dynamics seeks to find an individual undergoing personal growth to their best potential by way of learning about themselves within the various relationships they will have over the lifetime.
The Three Phases of Courtship above can be attributed to the functions of the Reptilian Brain, the Mammalian Brain and the Higher Brain, respectively. There are three steps to each, which we can learn more about by examining each phase. They are like three acts of a play - a beginning, middle and end to the story of one's romance.
The Three Phases of Courtship
Phase 1: Sexual Attraction ➳
The first phase of human courtship, according to Romantic Dynamics, which may be returned to again and again to reinvigorate, even if one is in the second or third phase. It is governed by the functions of the Reptilian Brain, which is the software of the mind that rules the operations of the unconscious, the instincts and reflexes, pertains both to the functions of the physical body, and to the deepest sense of self and identity.
Its principles operate in the domain of romance, but simultaneously have effect on one's sense of survival, passion, and vitality, charisma, and excitement for life.
For sexual attraction to exist and grow between two people, there must be a polarity between those people, in what Freud called, the "Libido," or "life force.” In that, there is a sharp divide between only two types of passion or “life force,” which in the Romantic Dynamics model, has no spectrum or gradient: that of masculinity and femininity. The goal of sexual attraction is to find (and be) the exclusive source to another person, of amplifying their masculinity or femininity, and therefore their passion for life, and desire for you.
Phase 2: Emotional Attraction ➳
The second phase of human courtship, according to Romantic Dynamics, which may be worked on at any time, even if one is in the first or third phase. You would be "working on the friendship," which is the same as "love." It is governed by the functions of the Mammalian Brain, which is the software of the mind that rules the operations of the emotions, friendship and love, itself, which is a different state of being than that of only lust or desire, which is fleeting and fickle, and not particular to the nuances of a specific person, just dependent on the polarity between masculine and feminine gender instincts. Emotional Attraction is also separate and distinct from the operations of Intellectual Attraction and partnership, which are geared only toward a commitment to achieving mutual goals as a team.
Its principles operate in the domain of romance, but simultaneously have effect on one's sense of happiness, free of anger and sadness, and also free of worry, fear and anxiety. Emotional attraction is only about friendship and self-esteem, which is akin to happiness. As such, Emotional Attraction is defined as the ability and actions of the mutual raising of self-esteem between two individuals, without the expectation of being obligated to each other in an ongoing way.
Phase 3: Intellectual Attraction ➳
The third phase of human courtship, according to Romantic Dynamics, which may be worked on, even if one is in the first or second phase. In fact, it is worked on by the woman in Step 3 of the Sexual Attraction Phase, where she tests the man for fitness to her life in terms of his masculinity level and his character maturity. This is the phase responsible for determining whether the couple that now has both desire and friendship, actually make successful partners with the ability to succeed at goals better together than alone.
Intellectual Attraction is governed by the functions of the Higher Brain, which is the software of the mind that rules the operations of the intellect, character maturity and success in achieving goals, both individual and joint ones. It is a different state of being than that of friendship and love, or lust and desire, which are voluntary and may carry no expectation of lasting relations or commitment. Intellectual Attraction is also separate and distinct from the operations of Emotional Attraction and friendship, which are geared toward finding happiness and mutually raised self-esteem, and is distinct from Sexual Attraction and desire, which are geared toward finding passion together, no matter how fleeting. Intellectual Attraction is what makes a relationship last, even under stress, and even with a waxing and waning level of desire.
Its principles operate in the domain of romance, but simultaneously have effect on one's sense of purpose in life, of pursuing a mission for one's life, achievement of goals, and durable access to love, companionship and longevity of the relationship. Intellectual attraction is only about success at goals and longevity of the relationship. It is still a voluntary romantic connection, but one which carries with it, promises, duties, obligations and all the mature, virtuous elements of character.
The Steps of Courtship
The Lady Eve is a Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda film about love and you can see ample information about it below. It is available free on the web.
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Sabrina is a Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart film about love and you can see ample information about it below. It is available free on the web.
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Harold Meadows is a shy, stuttering bachelor working in a tailor shop, who is writing a guidebook, The Secret of Making Love, for other bashful young men. Fate has him meet rich girl Mary, and they fall in love. But she is about to wed an already married man, so our hero embarks upon a hair-raising daredevil ride to prevent the wedding.
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In the third and final step of Sexual Attraction, the tables are turned, and “sexual tension” peaks.
The third gift offered to Paris by the goddess Athena in this contest between Aphrodite, Hera and Athena was this: the ability to win every battle he would ever fight. This gift of Athena is “being a winner” and “winning the hand of the woman” – what fuels the instinct in men that can be called the Ares Instinct, after the god of war, and “winning.”
It is here in step two of the sexual attraction phase of human courtship where the man and woman become fully aware of the desire the other has for them. The passion is growing now, as never before.
Because we are in the “reptilian brain” (where the instincts of survival and reproduction are at work), the "passions" of each gender are best described by words we still use today: feeling passionate, sexy and excited to be alive are the same experience as being full of "masculinity" or "femininity."
Act One of the play we call human courtship is Sexual Attraction. When boy meets girl, he finds her beautiful, and she finds that he invokes a mysteriousness that harkens her back to the very first experience of masculinity – which is that of her own father.
The Lady Eve is a Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda film about love and you can see ample information about it below. It is available free on the web.
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Baby Boom is a Diane Keaton and Sam Shepard film about love and careers in single life and you can see ample information about it below. It is available for free on the web.
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Sabrina is a Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart film about love and you can see ample information about it below. It is available free on the web.
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Much has been said through the ages about the “compatibility” among couples, and the importance of personality styles have captured the imaginations of lovers since ancient times. While we all have our “type” that we like in the other gender, that is not enough to be lasting teammates, let alone, "soul mates." To make it as partners, we will need to discover that we are more than friends. We need to be "best friends."