A form of positive emotional energy conceived of by Romantic Dynamics, as existing in the Mammalian Brain, where the emotions reside in the mind. It has several synonyms in the form of "happiness," "friendship," and is the antithesis and antidote to stress, resisting and dispelling stress in equal degrees. It is a form of chemical energy in its simplest state, and as such, is subject to the laws of thermodynamics (energy is neither created, nor destroyed; it just changes form.) And so as a result, an equal amount of self-esteem is required to match and eliminate an equal amount of stress coming into an individual from the outside environment. To do so, the stress must make its way through the personal boundary, which can have any number of flaws that allow stress in in the first place.

To do so, the stress must make its way through the personal boundary, which can have any number of flaws that allow stress in in the first place. Nonetheless, self-esteem is the second line of defense against stress, after the boundary, and  can be seen as a power source that helps to strengthen the personal boundary against outside threats. This is important in the second phase of human courtship - emotional attraction, which is friendship, or "love" - because stress is a major obstacle and detriment to this phase of courtship going well, and potential partners becoming, and staying, friends.

There are two types of self-esteem in the Romantic Dynamics model, and depending which of the two a person is most facile at, and dominant in, one's self-esteem type factors into their general personality style.

The first, we call, "Well-being," which is a nurturing, caring kind of positive emotion most akin to being "maternal" or motherly toward one's self and others. It is the specific antidote to one of the two types of stress, called, "hurt." Well-being is then the opposite of hurt, and is a kind of "potential energy," or a resource reserve whose exact amount is the same as the amount of "hurt" that one may bear without falling into the negative emotions of anger and sadness in response.

The second type of self-esteem we call, "Confidence," which is an action-taking, protective, defensive positive emotion, and an energy of action, akin to being "paternal" or fatherly toward one's self and others. It is the antidote to the other of the two types of stress, called, "loss." Confidence is then the ability to withstand risk, change or loss, and is equal in exact amount to the amount of threat or loss that one can tolerate without falling into the negative emotions of anxiety and fear in response.

One's overall self-esteem in Romantic Dynamics and the second phase of human courtship - friendship, or the emotional attraction of love - depends on equal amounts of these two types of self-esteem: well-being and confidence.

All people tend to be dominant in either one or the other, and so they have what may feel to them to be an endless supply of one or the other - well-being or confidence. However, if someone had only well-being with which to nurture themselves, they would be fragile to the stress called, "loss," due to a lack of confidence, and so they cannot be entirely happy even if they have a large amount of well-being. Likewise, if someone had only confidence with which to face threats and obstacles, taking confident action against them, they are not entirely happy either. They may tire, and long for rest and comfort, as well as general emotional resources found in the nurturing of well-being.

And so for a full and fit self-esteem, we all need both forms of it, ideally in equal measure. Since we are all dominant in one or the other by way of our personality type, we can only reach the highest levels of self-esteem and therefore happiness in two ways:

1. By working on ourselves emotionally, to cultivate the positive emotional style we lack, through the Anger Map (leading to more well-being) and Anxiety Map (leading to more confidence.)
2. Or through a romantic coupledom or non-romantic friendships with what amounts to a best-friend (who has in abundance, the type of self-esteem that does not come naturally to us.)

The four personality styles of the Social Personality System seen in phase two of human courtship - emotional attraction - provide guidance on finding such friendships. The King and Queen personality styles, and Lover personality style are dominant on maternal, nurturing self-esteem (well-being), and make good emotional matches for the Warrior and Magician personality styles, which are both dominant in paternal, confident self-esteem.