Like intellectual Pedantry or physical Tyranny, which are vices about puffing up one's own status at the cost of the partner's, "self-nominating" behavior, or Usurpation is a character "vice of excess" that sees one as being the essence of "win/lose" or destructive toward a partner for one' own gain. Only in this case, it is about grabbing resources and power for one's self rather than having a team approach. It makes the Zeus, or "father instinct" feel terrible and not a leader, and makes the Hera, or "mother instinct" in women feel unappreciated, and therefore not able to grant ownership of resources, which is her romantic and spiritual role for a woman. Similar to bullying, but with the "theft" of community resources by the usurper. It is unattractive sexually therefore.
In being unjust as a partner at contributing to achieving a goal, the "self-nominating," or usurping partner is letting their own real and true skills dictate what happens to the goals of the other partner. This is very tempting, because it IS legitimate that if you love another person, and are highly trained or talented at something, of course you want to give of that, to them. including in leadership tasks. However, like giving a holiday gift, if you don't bother to first ask what they want, there might be no right you can do after screwing up this kind of gift.
People are often being self-nominating or bossy, even while being generous, is as if all the confident effort by the heroic, courageous partner is going down the drain, and it is - through the holes in the boundary of the cowardly partner.
The usurpers use an Immature Ego Defense, called, "Rationalization" - which is like "a logical justification of one's own actions that are bullying or predatory." (The Ego Defenses guide us in finding friends and mates who happen to have similar maturity levels.)
It is pathologically narcissistic to be usurping, because we usually want to be its mature version, given that "self-nominating" produces destructiveness, a "win/lose" behavior, and Competence, makes for "win/win" behavior.
The other vice of Competence as a virtue is that of moral deficit, called, "Charlatanry" where a person "plays the expert," when they really have no qualifications, boldly and ignorantly attempting to define and constantly redefine what is just (and employing the Defense Mechanism of Denial as their strategy for constantly revising what is "true" between them in their real goals and dreams laid out.)
Someone who is romantically making use of charlatanry is a thief, indirectly taking resources away from the goals and dreams of a mate, by pretending to have competence at a task that actually wastes and burns the community resources on things that don't better their lives.
As a vice which makes partnership within relationships fail to get to goals, and is intellectually unattractive, consider cowardly behavior to be negative in many ways, including in sexual attraction, since it actually depletes the reserves of one's own, or the other partner's masculinity or femininity"