Like intellectual Bombast or physical Abdication, which are vices about wasting one's own status at the cost of our joint success, "overly pessimistic" or "overwhelmed, stress-case" behavior, or Alarm is a character "vice of deficit of Equanimity" that sees one as being the essence of "win/lose" or destructive. Only in this case, it is about "the dramatic stress-case of a partner" burning the resources when have no assurance of a stable, smooth ride forward. Yet we must try with Equanimity anyway. This lack of confidence regarding the path to our goals, sabotages the whole overall goals of the relationship by necessitating untold time, energy and money spent on "insurance" that we will have a stable ride to the joint goals.
Like buying extra seats on business class on an airplane just in case there's a little turbulence. It is not a team approach. It makes the Hermes and Odysseus, or "father instincts" for "smooth sailing" to a goal that men crave, feel terrible and not the master navigator of paths to success like he likes to be, in the instinct to protect the woman, and makes the Artemis, or "night hunter of success" in women feel dishonored, given that she is the master of safety on a journey to a goal, which is her instinctual romantic and spiritual right as a woman. Similar to "faithlessness" as opposed to "the faith to believe in us" - with the "sabotage" of community resources by the stressed-out, alarmist person. It is therefore unattractive sexually.
In being unjust as a partner at contributing to achieving a goal, the alarmist, dramatic, pessimistic partner is burdening their partner in collaboration to a goal, wasting the resources of the other partner on a "false security,"and unneeded assurances. This is annoying the partner that you were billed as a resourceful and stable person when you are "selling them a bill of goods," a "bait and switch" in terms of relationship drama. People comment at the end of the relationship that, "I felt stunned at their unconfidence," or "what looked like a good, stable partner is not what I ended up getting out of you with your drama." That is the Alarmist's usual effect - through the holes in the boundary allowing hysterical, dramatic thinking to substitute for reality, the illusion of threats and paranoia about the world around us. It is "external locus of control" of the boundary.
The alarmist uses an Immature Ego Defense, called, "Catastrophic Thinking" - which is like "making a mountain out of a molehill" or "a tempest in a teapot," or worse - that what is only a wish is somehow an actual reality, when there needs not be a threat. (The Ego Defenses guide us in finding friends and mates who happen to have similar maturity levels.)
It is pathologically narcissistic (or childish thining) to be an alarmist, because we usually want to be its mature version, given that alarm produces destructiveness, and a "win/lose" behavior, while Equanimity, makes for "win/win" behavior in the face of a truly uncertain situation.
The other vice of Equanimity as a virtue is that of moral excess, called, "Insouciance" or "overoptimism,"a "Pollyanna-like" state where a person of basic skill at something "assumes the best," and gets disappointed or afraid by way of personal boundary holes making them feel invincible over impossible obstacles. Which leads to destructive results for the relationship.
Someone who is romantically making use of alarm is a narcissist, wastefully taking resources away from the achievement of goals and the dreams of a mate, by trying to account for any and every small threat with spent resources on "insurance" against small threats.
As a vice which makes partnership within relationships fail to get to goals, Alarm, drama and overwhelm are intellectually unattractive, consider cowardly behavior to be negative in many ways, including in sexual attraction, since it actually depletes the reserves of one's own, or the other partner's masculinity or femininity"