The Athena Instinct is the feminine instinct for battle and conflict, fairness, justice, and achievement in a civilization. Her's is the feminine gift for discernment of virtue, as the goddess would favor one or the other of two warring armies, and make them win. This instinct is crucial in Step 3 of Sexual Attraction, where now that the couple has expressed preference for each other with their Zeus Instinct and Hera Instinct, the woman now tests the man to the fullest in his level of both masculinity and in character virtue. This instinct is also a leadership in action instinct in women, which is one of joy and vitality in achievement, victory, and "winning."
Of the three gifts offered to Paris by the Greek goddesses, Athena’s gift was that of “winning every battle.” It is this step of human courtship that people refer to when they talk about “playing hard to get” or people “wanting what they can’t have.” It’s a very common complaint by both men and women, and if you think about it, these statements are misguided and potentially confusing. We have far more to learn about what is a real and final step of Sexual Attraction - one which if treated properly, solidifies a real passion for each other while retaining separate identities. Yet it is also the step, if poorly understood, leads to needless loss of love, relationships, and even would-be marriages.
When we remember that for romance to occur, the two prospective partners are not aligned AGAINST each other, but desire that the other actually "be a winner," someone who can pass the tests of being a fit future partner and teammate, and in which there can be a harmony that is more advantageous to both, than remaining single.
The Athena Instinct in women is then a very wise and judicious one (thus her constant companion, the Owl, and origin of owls as "wise"), in which women use their discernment and experience to achieve success in both life and love. Winners love winning, and love other winners, and Athena is the ultimate "winner."
She uses two general kinds of tests of men:
- Does he have what it takes to be “manly enough” or in common language, to “be a real man?”
- Does he have character and maturity, gentlemanliness (even as they say, “chivalry”)?
If romance were a contest in which the hand of the woman were the prize then this prize can only be won by “the best man” (for her.) Not the most wealthy, or the fittest physically, nor merely the funniest, or the one with the most degrees. Just the right man for her, specifically, in the sexual, emotional and intellectual (and maturity level) arenas.