Femininity is a set of Feminine Gender Instincts, which make women feel more alive, passionate, sexually attracted, and sexually attractive to those who are masculine.
Consumer spending studies clearly show that there are major differences between the genders, not only in what types of items are purchased (for example, beard-trimmers versus tampons) among the genders, but within major product categories (automobiles, homes, books, films) there are also specific, quantifiable differences between the genders in terms of brands and models most purchased. Equally important for our purposes is the types and styles of marketing used to appeal across gender lines, to make the most profit.
Money doesn't lie. Marketing strategies today usually capitalize on something the genders have in equal amounts - impulsivity, fears, frustrations and hunger - and yet they respond to the impulse-generating stimuli in different ways that also cut across gender lines. We've all rolled our eyes at the concept of "Today is the Last Day of the Sale," and yet we neglect to see how clearly, the genders have different sets of instincts, whose impulsivity cause them to buy very different brands and models of things.
We have learned that the "location" in the mind of these analogous parts of psychology - the impulses, instincts, habits, imprinting, passions, and the desire that arises in masculine and feminine automatic behavior such as purchasing - all collaborate for a common purpose: to "feel alive."
As per Darwin and Freud, that feeling may cause us to be ecstatic, or it may cause us to seek to reproduce. In either case, it is "the spark of life" that we are talking about. That which gives us extreme joy of the type that makes us feel "fully alive."
For those with Femininity, this feeling state that one can sense "deep in their bones" is not merely a set of ideas, or even emotions, but rather, a physicality that one can describe as the identity of 'being alive" itself.
The stories of the ancient Greek goddesses tend to carry a single, major lesson at a time about these instincts, and the basic nature of the gods and goddesses themselves, like that of the "Patron Saints" of Catholicism, tend to be singular in nature.
And so if you believe that what makes great stories stand the test of time is the same thing that makes science last through history - the universal appeal and application of them both - then you might see how stories that last thousands of years have something universal and durable for us to learn, no matter what culture, period of history, or sociological movement we happen to be experiencing.
That is true of masculinity and femininity - not mere "roles" that are abandoned when money is on the line, but core identities full of programmed instincts deep in our DNA's expression, and inherited.
To learn about what causes women to automatically fall in love and desire to start a romance is also to learn about what makes women fully alive, and gives them passion, charisma, vitality, and a robust pursuit of love, success and happiness. Our best current lexicon of these Feminine Instincts rests in the singular nature of the behavior of each male, Greek Deity.
The Feminine Gender Instincts
Aphrodite ➳
You might be familiar with the Greek myth of Helen of Troy, the “face that launched a thousand ships.” The legend says that Helen was the most beautiful woman in the world and queen to King Menelaus of Greece. When the Trojan, Paris sweeps her off her feet, it leads to an epic and tragic war that claims the life of Paris. Aphrodite was the goddess who offered the hand of Helen in the "Temptation of Paris," which of the three candidates, was his final choice. The instinct for beautification, not only of themselves, but of their environment, their community, and their world, comes from the feminine gender instinct that in Romantic Dynamics, we call, "The Aphrodite Instinct." And while the cosmetics industry may be the oldest industry int he world, the core instinctual principle underneath it in women is not just about the physical, but any expression that carries the mathematics of symmetry to it - which is the mathematics of beauty.
Psyche ➳
When Eros was dispatched by Aphrodite to spoil Psyche for eternity by marrying her to Death himself, he slipped and pricked himself with his own arrows of love, falling hopelessly in love with Psyche. From there, the adventurous mortal girl starts the long trek into full, adult womanhood, learning many of the instincts of femininity along the way and how to place them in her service. This may be the "master feminine instinct" in women, and one of adventure, growth and expansion of life through discovery, analogous to the Odysseus in men.
Hera ➳
The Hera Instinct is at the foundation of the skills of "mothering" others, but far more, as well. It is the feminine instinct that governs every adult feminine task - that of mothering, yes, but also of being a spouse, being a leader and administrator, a property owner, a financier, and a woman participating in the community life or government. As such, she has multiple interests and tasks that she does to build a life.
Hestia ➳
Hestia was the goddess whom, to the ancient Greek citizenry was paid such respect, that she is the first paid homage at every meal, before any other god. She was the sister of Zeus, himself, and when she approached him to tell of her wish to be of eternal service to Mt Olympus, even forsaking marriage to do so, her brother was touched. He soon made her the chief administrator of all processes and resources of the home of the gods. The Hestia Instinct is then, the "sister instinct" that draws vitality and passion from connecting with other women on a journey or for a cause.
Arachne ➳
Arachne was a talented mortal weaver who challenged Athena, goddess of wisdom and crafts, to a weaving contest; this narcissism resulted in her being transformed into a spider by Aphrodite, as punishment. There are many versions of the story's weaving contest, but the usefulness of this feminine instinct rests in its way of balancing ambition versus shedding one's own narcissism - a cautionary tale equivalent to the tale of Narcissus and the Narcissus Instinct in males. It also may represent a Promethean argument with the male gods as well, since Arachne's weaving depicted the abuses of mortals, by Zeus. And so the positive light on the Arachne Instinct in women is that it is also the "rebel's instinct" that can make a woman feel passionate and alive.
Athena ➳
The Athena Instinct is the feminine instinct for battle and conflict, fairness, justice, and achievement in a civilization. Her's is the feminine gift for discernment of virtue, as the goddess would favor one or the other of two warring armies, and make them win. This instinct is crucial in Step 3 of Sexual Attraction, where now that the couple has expressed preference for each other with their Zeus Instinct and Hera Instinct, the woman now tests the man to the fullest in his level of both masculinity and in character virtue. This instinct is also a leadership in action instinct in women, which is one of joy and vitality in achievement, victory, and "winning."
Artemis ➳
Artemis was the daughter of Zeus and Leto, and the twin sister of Apollo – making her a rather “intellectual” goddess, the “Renaissance Woman” to Apollo’s “Renaissance Man” – the goddess of feminine accuracy and discriminating judgment of the world around us (and of the qualities in a man.) Her judgement ability made her a perfect complement to the drive for justice in Athena. The Artemis Instinct is then a companion to the justice of the Athena, in that it uses the fine detail of a "hunter's eye" to target and achieve one's goals, whatever they may be. In the case of romance, it is identifying only the best of the best males to consider as a mate. It is the "hunting instinct" behind the gift for finding a bargain, obtaining only the best in life, and in love.
Echo ➳
The girlish nymph Echo would often entertain Zeus' wife, Hera, with long and distracting stories at Zeus's behest, so that he could go womanizing. As time went on, Hera discovered the trickery, and became so furious she punished the over-talkative Echo by taking away her natural voice, replacing it with the sound-alike repetition of another's words. Thus, all Echo could do was repeat the voice of another. The Echo Instinct is the feminine instinct for gossip. We need to remember that every instinct has both positive growth-oriented uses, and also destructive, negative uses.
Penthesilea➳
Penthesilea represents the instinct of the feminine "underdog." It is the passion that comes to a woman who "fights to the end," and finds that even if she loses an endeavor, she draws life and vitality from the attempt at fighting for what's right.
Harmonia ➳
Harmonia is the goddess of harmony and concord, and her sister is Eris, the goddess of discord, who actually got the three original goddesses to feud over the attention of Paris - Aphrodite, Hera and Athena. Her brother is Eros, the god of love, and her parents are the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, and the God of War, Ares. We can see already that the Harmonia Instinct in women is the desire to find order and social harmony, and that this is a "sibling" of love itself, and is what is "born" of the romance created between masculinity (Ares) and femininity (Aphrodite.) It is the feminine instinct to solve problems, through pure love and harmony.
Medusa ➳
The Medusa Instinct is that of righteous indignation in women. Just because it cannot last indefinitely, or risk being outcast from society, does not mean that it has no useful role or task to take on. There are times to fight back with an enemy to their destruction, but the time will come when we ought to let go of our past conflicts and differences. The goal of defeating, or at least escaping the grasp of grudges that we cannot let go, is a vitality in itself, the letting go of the transgressions of others. To be able to forgive is a source of new life for us all.
Io ➳
The Io Instinct is that passion in women which inspires them to consider becoming a part of a love triangle, to steal the romantic interest away from another, and also to feel the pull against such an instinct. On the dark side, her tale offers a lesson that one may never rest when succumbing to the temptation to steal the mate from another. On the positive side, it underlines the power and exhilaration derived from so doing, and finding one's level of seductive power.
The Muses ➳
The Muses of ancient Greece were often described as being inspirational to men in their artistic pursuits, but what would it have been like to BE a Muse? Or to have the gift of art and creation? To be one for one's self, to be one's OWN Muse? The Muse Instinct is the equivalent of the male, Dionysus Instinct combined with the Apollo Instinct - a woman's creative gifts. Yet, if we were to seek romance, what would it also be like, as a secondary effect, to have a gift for inspiring others, through our art? To maximize that inspirational, impassioning appeal to a romantic interest, even if we were the master artist to their aspiring one?
The Sirens ➳
The Sirens were dangerous creatures, who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. And so the Siren Instinct in women is the knowledge and use of the power that women have over men through their seductiveness, to obtain advantage in life, career, and romance. In the early steps of romance and sexual attraction, one could envision this instinct as working hand in hand with the Aphrodite Instinct to punctuate beauty and the visual enticement of males, through the body and motion, as the Sirens lured the soldiers with their ruse of physical beauty. One sees this instinct at work in attire and cosmetics as well.
Demeter ➳
Demeter is the goddess of the harvest and agriculture, who presided over grains and the fertility of the earth. As an instinct in women, the Demeter Instinct, therefore, represents fertility in the sense of satisfaction that a woman enjoys in "producing results." The "can-do" goddess in all women, who can deliver what she promises, and in having a daughter, Persephone, over whom she guards, is symbolically guarding the fruits of her artistic labors as a woman, and feeling the ecstatic excitement of so doing.
Helen ➳
Helen was known as the most beautiful woman in the world, and she played upon that power of the physical appearance to turn the ancient world, upside down with what amounted to a war for possession of her. This is perhaps the ultimate statement of independence, and something behind the Helen Instinct for women's use - how to be both physical and not "possessed" by others, and the unique dynamics of the unconscious, when a woman unwittingly or wittingly causes men to take up arms against each other, for her affections.
Persephone ➳
Persephone is the daughter of Zeus and the harvest goddess Demeter and is the queen of the underworld. Homer describes her as the formidable, venerable majestic princess of the underworld, who carries into effect the curses of men upon the souls of the dead. Persephone was married to Hades, the god-king of the underworld. The myth of her abduction represents her function as the personification of vegetation, which shoots forth in spring and withdraws into the earth after harvest; hence, she is also associated with spring as well as the fertility of vegetation. One might say that she is a fertility goddess, and yet it is her shrwedness that leads others to transport her, to take her "somewhere else," where she becomes immensely powerful. So much so, that the Underworld likely cannot be matched as her domain - it is the world of the unconscious human mind, itself.
Gaia ➳
The Gaia Instinct comes from the most primordial and powerful force in femininity, and one which has no language and not many stories to it, because she is Mother Earth, herself. She gives birth to the hills and the sky without a father, and mates with her equal, Uranus, the sky, to form everything else. To women today, this is her unique connection to nature and to the most primitive wisdom and knowledge of literally "giving birth." It relates to creation of works of art on one level, but is best understood as the wisdom that comes from the literal experience of giving physical birth to a child - a deeper knowledge that predates Hera, and such other figures as Eve.
Lamia ➳
Lamia was a beautiful queen of Libya who became a child-eating daemon. Aristophanes claimed her name derived from the Greek word for gullet, referring to her habit of devouring children. The Lamia Instinct includes the darkest of natures in women's instincts, more so than even the destructive Medusa, who developed her evil out of having been assaulted and robbed of dignity, herself. That Lamia kills children speaks to the self-destructive impulse in women (since they are the creators of children), who would spite themselves, destroying the product of their own greatest power, just to seek revenge or the destruction of others. She is analogous to the primordial Christian deity, Lilith.