Helen was known as the most beautiful woman in the world, and she played upon that power of the physical appearance to turn the ancient world, upside down with what amounted to a war for possession of her. This is perhaps the ultimate statement of independence, and something behind the Helen Instinct for women's use - how to be both physical and not "possessed" by others, and the unique dynamics of the unconscious, when a woman unwittingly or wittingly causes men to take up arms against each other, for her affections.

The evolutionary psychologists speak to the different reproductive strategies seen the very different number of gametes that men and women have. That when women unconsciously, instinctually see men fighting each other to "win" her - a veritable war on a small scale - they also see that in subtle ways this benefits them. They get "the better man" and the "winner," and they get access to and command over the resources of a multitude of men, simultaneously, not just those of one.

This Helen Instinct can be a principle applied to various areas of life. Known to Sun Tzu, in The Art of War, pitting one's enemies against each other is a superior strategy to gain advantage in a war. But men are most certainly not "the enemy."  They are competitors with each other, and with the woman, for the best romance and the best life they can achieve. However, the efficiency and power of letting others sort out their social standing, and all for the benefit of elevating the woman's own status above that of everyone else, this is highly useful to a woman in career, love, and life.

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All good things in life come with effort, and the man’s satisfaction and boost of masculinity he feels comes in part by way of yet another Greek god-based instinct in him: the Hephaestus Instinct – god of “a job well done,” or “honest work,” or the “blue collar work ethic”, which drives the male need for “meaningful work.” (Hephaestus was the actual husband of Aphrodite, on whom she cheated with Ares.) He is the male instinct for working hard, but also outrage at being cheated upon while working hard.

Which of course opens up whole worlds of discussion about today’s marital relations and division of shared labor in the married household as it pertains to infidelity and frequency of sex - as there is less sex in the marriage in proportion to the amount of chores around the house a man does. Yep, the research shows this, not just mens’ opinions.

Hephaestus was in a bad marriage with Aphrodite, like a hard-working, financially solid guy with a beautiful, but conniving wife. She eventually cheats on him with Ares, the god of war.

Helius, the Sun God, able to see everything by day, and witnessed Aphrodite taking her lover in her bed, while Hephaestus was absent.  So, he told everything to Hephaestus.

Hephaestus decided to take revenge on the cheaters. Thus using his wit and his blacksmithing skills to the gods, he created an unbreakable net and trapped the cheaters while they were in bed. He wanted the other gods to witness the disgraced pair, but only the gods appeared, while the goddesses stayed in Olympus.

The feeling of being alive in Hephaestus Instinct comes, in a sense, from "pride in honesty," and also social justice. The symbolism of the sun god in the story, is that Hephaestus operates by truth.  And so he is "pride in honesty" for a man.

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The Hera Instinct is at the foundation of the skills of "mothering" others, but far more, as well. It is the feminine instinct that governs every adult feminine task - that of mothering, yes, but also of being a spouse, being a leader and administrator, a property owner, a financier, and a woman participating in the community life or government. As such, she has multiple interests and tasks that she does to build a life.

While she is the wife of Zeus, she is also an independent, co-administrator of Mt Olympus with him. This instinct is obviously, highly useful to women in their general personal growth and ambitions, and also for our purposes in Romantic Dynamics, takes a part in romance, partnership, and early on, in Step 2 of Sexual Attraction, which we have called, "Ladies and Gentlemen." It is in that second step of desire, as a couple are first getting together, that the man lets the woman know "he likes her" and the woman lets the man know "she likes him."

The way that this plays out is in the form of demonstrating the advantages of being with the other, by way of treating each other in a caring, preferential, "fatherly" and "motherly" way - giving comfort and compliments, admiration, swooning as a parent might do toward their child, offering assistance of some kind, and in the case of the woman's turn to further trigger passions in the man - to elevate him in rank among other men, to make him feel important or to have superior resources, and to establish "territory," which is similar to letting him know that he is preferred over other men, and his possessions respected.

We pull this instinctual information not just from the wealth of psychology literature coming out in recent years (such as about the detrimental effect on a marriage of shared chores, or strife over them), but from the source literature of myth - the Temptation of Paris, itself. The story in which the three goddesses, Aphrodite, Hera and Athena each offer Paris of Troy their best instinctual features: that of Athena being "to win every battle," that of Hera being, "dominion over all the earth," and that of Aphrodite, the one Paris did choose as best, "the hand of Helen, the most beautiful mortal in the world," and the "face that launched a thousand ships."

We learn that Hera's offering should not go ignored. While Aphrodite's offering inspires Step 1 of Sexual Attraction, the very first, Hera's forms Step 2 - making a man feel what decades ago was referred to as "feeling like a million bucks," and giving rise to such sayings as "a man's home is his castle." To trigger Step 2 of Sexual Attraction, a woman need only make a man feel special and preferred, which is what mothers do toward young sons. He will then return, in kind, some sort of fatherly gesture.

This interchange shows both partners what the comforts of being together longer term might look like, and also demonstrates the nature of how they might treat each other's children someday.

For the other areas of a woman's life, and personal growth, there are so many stories of Hera in the Greek literature that we can't even begin to detail them here. Every manner of interaction with other women, with "coworkers," with those lower in administration that the woman-leader, relations with male colleagues and other male administrators, every nuance of the feminine instincts are covered in stories of this goddess.

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Hercules is the story of the "honorable loser," one who is willing to gracefully lose a battle in order to win a war. In effect, his deification results from the valor in fighting battles, and submission to die on a funeral pyre, thus, becoming a god.  It is a man's ability to sacrifice for a greater cause, to lose gracefully and not as a "sore loser," only then to see the rewards of a full, healthy pride in having done one's masculine duty. It is similar to the honor in "the captain going down with the ship," which may be difficult for many to understand the instincts within. Only men who have been through a great sacrifice know the honor and value of so doing. It is receiving the Purple Heart, and being a returning veteran.

Hercules is known for his many adventures, which took him to the far reaches of the ancient world. One version of these is written as the "Twelve Labors", but the list has variations. One order of the labors is below:

1. Slay the Nemean Lion.
2. Slay the nine-headed Lernaean Hydra.
3. Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis.
4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar.
5. Clean the Augean stables in a single day.
6. Slay the Stymphalian Birds.
7. Capture the Cretan Bull.
8. Steal the Mares of Diomedes.
9. Obtain the girdle of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons.
10. Obtain the cattle of the monster Geryon.
11. Steal the apples of the Hesperides.
12. Capture and bring back Cerberus.

Hercules' return from the underworld represents his ability to overcome earthly desires and vices, or the earth itself as a consumer of bodies. In medieval mythography, Hercules was one of the heroes seen as a strong role model who demonstrated both valor and wisdom, while the monsters he battles were regarded as moral obstacles. When Hercules became a constellation, he showed that strength was necessary to gain entrance to Heaven.

Once, when Hercules was trying to take his bride home, he had to cross a river, where Nessus, a centaur, was the ferryman. He rowed Hercules across and then, in rowing Deianeira across, he tried to rape her.

Hercules used his poisoned arrows to shoot the centaur dead. Before he died, the centaur gave Deianeira some of his blood - now tainted with poison - to use on her husband as a love potion if he were ever to stray.

Years later, Deianeira became concerned about Hercules' overtures toward another woman, his ex-wife, Iole. She then used some of the old centaur blood on a shirt and gave it to Hercules, thinking it would keep him faithful to her.

The blood was not a love potion, but a poison originating from Hercules' own arrows.

When Hercules put on the shirt, it scalded his skin. The burning would have killed an ordinary man, but Hercules was not one.  He built a funeral pyre, climbed upon it, and eventually persuaded Philoctetes to light it. He was then allowed to die and be with the gods, a constellation. Philoctetes was given Hercules' poison arrows and protected all his days by the god.

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His nature has been called, “mercurial,” when a man is fickle, flighty, changing to and fro often, and hard to pin down or “label.” Much like the liquid metal that is his namesake, the Roman god, Mercury – known as Hermes to the Greeks – was the god of speed, the messenger to the gods of Mt Olympus, and quite the trickster.

This masculine instinct inspired by Hermes is the perfect nature for men to have at Step One of Sexual Attraction – to change in conversation quickly, to never be pinned down to a label or identity, to be playful and humorous, of a trickster’s mentality (because after all, in first meeting, we are still strangers, and it is just one big, enjoyable, challenging game that men and women play when they first meet.)

Hermes was the god of speed and cunning, transitions and boundaries – he moved between the world of the living and the divine, and was among only a handful of gods who were allowed to do so (another being Eros, or Cupid.) If we were going to delve into what the secret strategy was in Hermes for accomplishing all that he was in charge of in the ancient world, and apply that to men’s mysteriousness in attracting women, it’s all there, readily apparent to us.

Hermes was tasked with delivering messages between the gods and humans, and among each other. Today’s man learning Romantic Dynamics has some goals and drives too – he must be mysterious, but also friendly, a little bit dangerous, but also welcoming and positive - the tinge of danger, yet be reliable and honest.

This is a man with the ability to communicate well, yet is difficult to label or pin down to a simple description. He feels passion and vitality in the role of communicating to people, and in "networking," meeting people, joining them together, and and having the adventure of new social experiences.

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Hestia was the goddess whom, to the ancient Greek citizenry was paid such respect, that she is the first paid homage at every meal, before any other god. She was the sister of Zeus, himself, and when she approached him to tell of her wish to be of eternal service to Mt Olympus, even forsaking marriage to do so, her brother was touched. He soon made her the chief administrator of all processes and resources of the home of the gods. The Hestia Instinct is then, the "sister instinct" that draws vitality and passion from connecting with other women on a journey or for a cause.

She was the hub of activity, the ultimate manager, confidante, and police officer of heaven, to the point that not any other deity could check out their weapons or tools without first approaching her for permission.

If there is any doubt in your mind what is deep in the psychology of the rise of women to economic and occupational power today, it very well may be the instinct of Hestia in them - sisterhood, organization, and working as one for the common good. Within the past several years, women for the first time in United States history outnumbered men in the workforce. Maybe you have noticed your workplace filled with more women than in any decade past, the workings of the corporation humming with their planning, and efficiency, with the perfect allocation of resources in fairness in most cases.

This is Hestia, (or the Roman, Vesta) the goddess of friendship among women, bonds of sisterhood like those of Bluebeard’s sister-in-law or Psyche’s sisters - whose opinions have the power to plumb the depths of his inner intentions, then to make or break the man’s reputation, his public identity, and his livelihood therein. Part of being a gentleman is knowing how to either please the Hestia Instinct in women, or to deal with it appropriately, and with mutually respectful boundaries.

To women, Hestia is the salve of sisterhood on the wounds of a breakup, or of infidelity, an eternal spring of femininity to tap into, and to give generously to, and the real spirit of modern feminism.

The Hestia Instinct might be seen in Step 2 of Sexual Attraction, when the needs and connection with a woman's female friends need to be reconciled with the needs and connection to a new romantic interest. He must respect the friends, or risk losing the relationship, and her honesty and loyalty to the needs of the community were what caused her to rise up to chief administrator under Zeus and Hera on Mt Olympus.

An important feature of early romance is for the two partners to remember that when possible, all the features of one's femininity or masculinity must be stoked, if possible, for maximum masculinity, femininity, or passion in the partner. Which amplifies their shared passion, and the vitality they will draw from the relationship. A woman needs to make use of her friendships and have the man respect and support them.

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