It is possible to be "intellectually narcissistic" as well as emotionally narcissistic" in our social relations, and the way that this may happen on account of Right-brained experience is to treat others with "ignorance" or "rudeness." We tend to be ignorant of something true of others or their beliefs when we see our vision as more important or comprehensive than theirs. We also may tend to waste the time, energy or money of others on account of our right-brained dominance. Instead, when we are mature of character and virtuous, we use our Right Brain for the best purpose, which is "imagination." Imagination is then a "Right-brained Virtue."

Imbalance in psychology may sound like a vague term, however, the implications are profound. In the area of Evolutionary Biology, physical asymmetry is known to be a sign of disease, and therefore becomes a stimulus for other animals of a species to avoid contact with the particular animal. In an extreme example, perhaps there is a missing limb in the animal, which might signal the presence of infection, or for example, a lack of the ability to fight alongside other animals of the species against predators (or perhaps the loss of the limb in the first place, might be inferred to be  a demonstration of the poor, innate ability to fight against predators successfully.)

Why would we assume that the functioning of the mind is any less an indicator of survival ability and social value - in a species as advanced as ourselves, and prone to use tools and technology to protect ourselves?

We have all had the experience of interacting with people who are very "imbalanced" in some area of their psychological function, and the instinctual reaction is often avoidance of such people, likely for the same evolutionary reasons.

There are some scientifically-based details and principles of philosophy that support our use of this principle. Aristotle talked about "The Golden Mean" in his lectures, in which he claims that for every human virtue, there are not one, but two vices - one of excess, and one of deficit. For example, humor is a human virtue, yet "buffoonery" is too much humor to match the social context, and "boorishness" is too little humor to match the social context, or "humorlessness." This places the virtue of humor at the center of a spectrum (which we could call, "balance") and both "boorishness" and "buffoonery" are on the two opposite ends of the spectrum (they are "imbalance".)

All through Romantic Dynamics, such spectra exist both for the purpose of showing us psychological balance, versus imbalance, health versus unhealthy behavior, which tends to be the same as maturity versus immaturity, and can extend even into models of spiritual growth versus decline.

However, all the working parts of psychology being placed on a spectrum for each, give us an exceptional power to measure and quantify the variables involved in one's behavior, their romantic skills, and their compatibility with suitable mates. This feature of Romantic Dynamics also does a miraculous thing that can be called a kind of "Quantum Psychology."

This feature of Romantic Dynamics also does a miraculous thing that can be called a kind of "Quantum Psychology." In Quantum Physics, matter can be envisioned as either a particle at a specific place in space, or as a wave that cannot be located at a specific place, but has particular properties. Extending this principle to psychology accomplishes a very needed property in our studies: that people can simultaneously be labelled in the various components of their psychology, having certain properties (like a wave), and yet at the same time we can also respect and honor them as unique individuals, coming from a very personal and independent position in terms of the details of their lives' stories, beliefs, preferences, tastes, skills and identity as compared to every other person who has ever lived (more like a particle.)

While the Primitive, or Pathological Defenses are likely bans against you even dating a person, let alone forming a commitment with them, the Immature Defenses, which one can fall into a tiny bit here and there, might be an occurrence you are able to work with and occasionally tolerate and correct. It will be a question of frequency and degree. If they are rampant and pervasive, you might as well consider them to be as much of a block on the possibility of the necessary skills of commitment as the Primitive Defenses are.

These defenses are often present in adults, and also lessen inner conflict and anxiety produced by threatening people or by just not wanting to deal with the social reality at hand. Excessive use of these is seen as socially undesirable, in that they are immature, difficult to deal with and seriously out of touch with reality. Overuse almost always leads to serious problems in a person's ability to be in a relationship. They are also seen in clinical depression and personality disorders. mastery of the personal boundary is the ultimate test of whether it is possible to commit to each other, or to anybody for that matter. While one of the most valuable tools of the psychoanalyst to evaluate and treat us for our strange ways with each other, our “neuroses,” is the analysis of the Ego Defenses, I am certain of a couple things about them:

If we don’t render them in a physical way where you could literally learn to “see” them in ourselves and others, they won’t do us much good, as universal and potentially useful as they may be. And you have, indeed heard of them. One of the most common, pervasive, and primitive ones is called, “denial.”

Why, “repression?” Because of the very nature of a personal boundary: it “contains,” or “holds” our psyche together, including the “tamping down” of any force which were to try to be unleashed,” (and just as much, to block any force which would try to get in.) This “tamping down” of our own drives, or instinctual or passion-based tendencies is literally the “repressing” of that tendency.

These mechanisms are often present in adults. These mechanisms lessen distress and anxiety produced by threatening people or by an uncomfortable reality. Excessive use of such defenses is seen as socially undesirable, in that they are immature, difficult to deal with and seriously out of touch with reality. These are the so-called "immature" defences and overuse almost always leads to serious problems in a person's ability to cope effectively. These defences are often seen in major depression and personality disorders.

They will cause a person to not be able to participate at all in the Four Skills of Commitment or to make adjustments in the Four Commonalities of Commitment seen in intellectual attraction. Not without major changes and skill building in these areas.

Common Immature Defense Mechanisms

Acting Out ➳

Direct expression in action of an unconscious wish, instinct or impulse, without conscious awareness of the emotion underlying the behavior. It is literally letting the instincts run our behavior without filtering or intervention by our boundaries, ethics, or other features of behaving in a socially civilized way, most often caused by a lack of Observing Ego skill.

Fantasy ➳

When people have the tendency to retreat into fantasy in order to resolve their inner conflicts, or outer stresses, this is also the way of teens who take to science fiction or romantic fantasy media to keep themselves from being overwhelmed. If something dabbled in as a guilty pleasure, there is something to be said for the enriching of the creative mind, however, since the intellectual attraction phase of courtship is all about goal-setting in our committed relationships, living in a fantasy will just not do.

Idealization ➳

This defense appears when we see another person as having more desirable qualities than he or she may actually have. We saw the basic boundary anatomy of this defense when we looked at the defense called, “Projection.” Only in this case - Idealization - we are participating in a kind of “hero worship,” which any of us can indulge in from time to time.

Introjection ➳

This is one of those defenses which can be an incredibly healthy thing when it is either age-appropriate or suitable to adaptive needs that fit the context of our lives. It demonstrates how evolutionarily crucial the ego defenses are for our growth and development, and how it is that - maturity appropriate to our age at the time - they may even manage to save us from trouble in the nick of time. Introjection is especially befitted to such a human need, because it is the essence of hero worship. We need heroes throughout our lives, and those moments of tribulation and despair are the ones in which we most desperately need the “self-heroism” of introjection.

Passive-aggressiveness ➳

Oh, you know this one well. So well. You have been it, done it, and experienced it countless times.  It is aggression towards others expressed indirectly or passively, often through procrastination or some other seemingly non-aggressive but destructive act.

Projection ➳

Projection lowers our anxiety by letting our instincts and desires get expressed without becoming consciously aware of them.  We take our own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts and emotions and place them onto another person, perhaps blaming them, shaming them or otherwise dispensing with that in ourselves which we do not like.

Projective Identification ➳

This is one of those weird ones to wrap your mind around. You have views of yourself and the world which you aren’t able to accept about yourself, but when you put them out onto other people, now you find them at a safe distance, more in your control. Now you do not feel as alone with them, and can accept them in yourself.

Somatization ➳

This is the unconscious process of taking negative feelings or instincts originally directed towards others, but which are in violation of one’s morals or character - for example, “hating” a dying grandfather - and redirecting them at oneself: pain, illness, and anxiety. It is exemplified by sayings such as, “I make myself sick.”

Wishful Thinking ➳

Call it the “Walter Mitty syndrome,” or call it being a pathological dreamer, but those of us who tend to unconsciously making decisions based on what might be enjoyable to our imagination instead of by appealing to evidence, rationality, and reality, tend to present an intoxicating roadblock to a successful relationship for those they seduce into their hyper-romantic world.

Return to the FOUR LEVELS OF EGO DEFENSES ➳

See the Primitive Ego Defenses, Immature Ego Defenses, Neurotic Ego Defenses, and Mature Ego Defenses.

Impotence as a vice, is a lack of emotional importance or influence, while Irrelevance as a vice is a lack of intellectual importance or influence.  That which is a full, complete communication will usually have both intellectual and emotional aspects to the communication. Otherwise we aren't talking about a communication. We are talking about either facts, or emotional venting or expression.

Full communication needs both emotions and ideas.

Impotence (socially) and its twin, Irrelevance are then two forms of the vice of deficit of the virtue of Influence.

We need influence in social groups in order to get the group collaboration and support toward our goals.

RETURN TO CHARACTER COMPATIBILITY

Imprinting is a psychological concept devised by ethologist, Konrad Lorenz, which is akin to a "dormant instinct" that is waiting to be "turned on" by the right circumstances and conditions. If we were computers, then imprinting would be like firmware that is preinstalled on the computer and designed to be activated only when we are ready.

Previously only studied in early child development in the interactions between mother and child, today, imprinting is far more studied in adult romantic relationships too, and accounts for the particular, individualized effects that relating to our specific parents gave us, which influence our personal choices in a mate.

For the purposes of Romantic Dynamics, imprinting in adult romance comes in four major types: ttachment, which is

1. Attachment, which is the connection found in a baby toward its opposite sex parent (and later found in a romantic partner.)
2. Bonding, which is what either parent feels back, for the baby, and what mature partners feel in each other, as friendship.
3. Identification, which is the connection found in a child toward its same sex parent, and causes the internalization of both virtues and vices of that parent with similar gender instincts.
4. Initiation into adulthood, which is taking the parental interactions of youth, into the adult world to use when we are alone, not with our parents, and needing to harvest the lessons of adulthood from them, through living through the events of life.

These four come online at different times of life, in different circumstances, when the right conditions exist - making them all "imprinting phenomenae."

A Reptilian Brain response to anxiety in the form of addiction, and sudden, thoughtless action designed to help us survive threats (as in the "Fight or Flight Reflex".) It is also a part of the processing of aggression, and forms a "reptilian-brained" joining-point between the Anger Map and Anxiety Map.