Character Compatibility is a different harmony between partners than an alignment of personality styles, or of polarity of masculinity and femininity. It goes far beyond shared interests, to be sure.  Since Phase 3 of Courtship - Teamwork, Partnership, and Commitment - are about aligning to be a successful team at getting to joint goals in intellectual attraction. Then the compatibility we are talking about must be about a joint encouragement [Read more...] about Partnership

Normally a vague descriptor of excitement or vitality, in Romantic Dynamics, this word is very specific to referring to the instincts, unconscious, automatic behaviors related to survival ("life and death" issues) on the one hand, and excitement, vitality, charisma, ecstasy and joy on the other end of a spectrum of "feeling alive."

In terms of the ideas of Darwin and Freud, the concept that unconscious, instinctual behaviors tend to [Read more...] about Passion

Oh, you know this one well. So well. You have been it, done it, and experienced it countless times.  It is aggression towards others expressed indirectly or passively, often through procrastination or some other seemingly non-aggressive but destructive act.

You did your best to make her happy with the move to your new apartment, and you hope that the fact she wants to live in a completely different city is [Read more...] about Passive-aggressiveness

In the Romantic Dynamics model, "pathological narcissism" is an important feature of our psychology which can shoot down nearly any aspect of romance, and ruin the progress in any of the three phases of courtship. We borrow from the Self Psychologists, and Psychodynamic theorists to understand it, but also add some principles of the Game Theory of Economics, most notably, the Nash Equilibrium, to understand it.

The easiest way to [Read more...] about Pathological Narcissism

A mature defense mechanism that incorporates the use of one's Observing Ego and their Personal Boundary, and involves tolerance of waiting for opportunity, for the right time to do certain behaviors, and as a result, blocking the internal, unconscious drives and instincts - Freud's "Id" - which operate with impatience and immediacy.

We have said that patience may be a feature of the “inner boundary” we have been learning about - the “Ego Boundary” as I have called it - that which blocks or allows material from the unconscious instincts and drives to enter the conscious mind (whether or not having done that, your “outer boundary,” the Personal Boundary allows the impulse to be publicly expressed is a second matter.

This patience [Read more...] about Patience