A style of behavior that one is born with, composed of an intellectual style and emotional style, and which can grow into a full, well-rounded personality over the lifetime. It is the raw material of identity, and gives us tendencies to communicate a certain way, to have certain dominance in particular psychological resources, to feel fulfilled in certain ways, which differ from the other three types of temperament.

It is an average of our emotional and intellectual tendencies, and is like our "common denominator" of behavior, the style to which we revert, regress, or fall back on to rely on in times of stress.

It tells us whether we tend to dive into book learning, or people, or new places, new associations or other demographic reliances when under stress.

Theseus was one of the founders of Athens, and the demigod who slew the Minotaur in the maze. Loved by the daughter of his enemy, King Minos, it was she who used a slender, golden thread, and saved him from being lost, forever in the maze, even if he did manage to kill the Minotaur. He followed the path of the golden thread back out, to the light of day. He symbolizes the pride and achievement of the married man in the workplace.

Theseus' mother, Aethra became pregnant, and his mortal father, Aegeus decided to return to Athens. Before leaving, however, he buried his sandals and sword under a huge rock, and told Aethra that when their son grew up, he should move the rock, if he were heroic enough. He proved to be more than man enough for the task and many others, becoming a great unifier of Greek city-states, and whose name means, "the gatherer."

This instinct has depth to it, especially in terms of the symbolism of the singular focus of a man who is challenged with a noble cause, yet who must fight his way through the confusing, threatening "maze" of the world at large. Today, this double predicament of needing to focus on one's specific challenges, while also needing to "find orientation" in the ever-changing world, may be symbolic of the modern workplace for men. In their tasks, they need the privacy of Hades' Underworld, the skills of their wits and the unconscious instincts to achieve goals, coming to bear.

But they also need the partnership of a woman who both supports and orients them to the world as she sees it. Without her, he may "win the battle, but lose the war."  Her challenge is to "support from afar," to trust the man to do what he knows how to do, without her direct oversight and governance, yet with the clear and literally, life-saving emotional support and perspective that can only come from being a couple in love.

Many a married man knows the Theseus Instinct - the joy, passion and pride of having found not only a supportive spouse, but a skilled and equal partner with the maturity of character that carries the "Four C's" or "Skills of Commitment" - the Curiosity, Communication, Compromise, and Collaboration that are all represented in the single symbol of the Golden Thread.

Just think of all the divorces and financial ruin that could have been avoided by men and women both, had they had a deep understanding of the Theseus Instinct.

RETURN TO THE MASCULINE INSTINCTS

Tolerance is simple - allowing that of which one disapproves, which is the ultimate in respect for what boundaries even are - that we don’t own or control the opinions or perspectives of others.

We may be reminded of the famous quote often misattributed to Voltaire, that “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”  Like many of the thinkers of the Enlightenment, whether Voltaire bought into this concept or not - he likely would have - we have an inherent nature in the personal boundary which has been illuminated by philosophers through history, from John Locke, to Rousseau, those who inspired the American Declaration of Independence, where it states that we all have “unalienable rights,” which are the boundary, and among them, “the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  These three represent the three psychological resources, and the boundary itself, that which is “unalienable” about us, and cannot be stripped away, even by massive armies.

GO BACK TO MATURE DEFENSE MECHANISMS.

These four human traits are, perhaps, the major characteristics of the most highly successful people. In part, they are inherited from their forebears. They are crucial for both parties in intellectual attraction.

Intelligence, for example, cannot be learned for the most part. It can be practiced at, however, we have to have a foundational amount to start with in its use, otherwise, all the practice we can muster won't budge our IQ upward even a bit.

On the other hand, our beliefs come from our life's history and the experiences that we have.

They aren't directly inherited, although through the folklore and other cultural teachings that we will encounter through our development as children, we may absorb similar stories, generation by generation. The longer the stories last, the more likely that they contain universal human experiences that transcend time.

Maturity is in the middle. For example, we learn much of our character through learned experiences of what is ethical or unethical, and we also learn what kinds of environments, and what features of them, tend to do us harm. Then again, if we have inherited great attention ability and self-awareness, an ability at Observing Ego, we learn social lessons and undergo personal growth, faster. So maturity is partially inherited on this count.

Finally, our life's goals may be entirely arbitrary, as we can just state them, and pursue them. However, we may find ourselves not succeeding as much at the ones which we arbitrarily choose to pursue, when they don't harvest and capitalize on our natural, inborn gifts and tendencies.

The 4 Traits of Success

Intelligence ➳

In any case, in most of the success that you have ever personally had, you likely found that you had a natural tendency to pursue something that you simply seemed to have more natural understanding of and efficiency with. You might even have found yourself telling people, "I can do this in my sleep." And you did it efficiently. You had intelligence to begin with, and expanded it with practice. We don't pair well with a partner on a goal if we have a greatly mismatched intelligence level. One or the other person is going to end up resentful.

Maturity ➳

Next, you might have found that with age and experience, you had learned lessons in past attempts and failures at the task, and at the time, you felt overwhelmed, or too focused on just one aspect of it or another, causing it to flounder. Or you chose the wrong people to involve in it or assist you, such as many entrepreneurs find in their early careers. You also may not have had the discipline or resolve. But years later, you had more of an even-handed and even-minded approach to it, and were a better judge of collaborators, supporters, and partners, then saw your dream start to realize closer than ever before. You had grown some maturity along the way, whose balance" and discipline, and fairness toward other people really expanded your success. We don't fare well with a partner with whom we have very divergent maturity levels, which is like not having a partner at all.

Empowering Beliefs ➳

At this point, you have found the natural gift to pursue certain goals with efficiency and knowledge of simply "how to do it." You "just know," and that is intelligence. You've made mistakes, and found balance, discipline, and fortitude in pursuing it. And that is maturity. But even with a giftedness for something, and perseverence, even then, you may have found yourself, doubting yourself. People told you that you couldn't achieve it, help which we all need, did not arrive, and soon, you may have found yourself starting to give up on the goal or goals. That may be when you dug into yourself and discovered that you had the "wrong thinking" to achieve the thing. That part of you was actually, silently working against accomplish the thing, and that these beliefs may have come from someone other than you, like a parent or enemy. You then either had to change what the goal is, because it was not aligned with who you are, and therefore what you even like, or else you needed to get yourself, "an attitude change" in which you "remember who you really are," and got your beliefs in yourself, and therefore the "big dream," more honest and aligned.

Impassioning Goals ➳

Next, you might have found that with age and experience, you had learned lessons in past attempts and failures at the task, and at the time, you felt overwhelmed, or too focused on just one aspect of it or another, causing it to flounder. Or you chose the wrong people to involve in it or assist you, such as many entrepreneurs find in their early careers. You also may not have had the discipline or resolve. But years later, you had more of an even-handed and even-minded approach to it, and were a better judge of collaborators, supporters, and partners, then saw your dream start to realize closer than ever before. You had grown some maturity along the way, whose balance" and discipline, and fairness toward other people really expanded your success. It is hard to align on goals with a partner who has directly opposed goals to your own. They want to be a city attorney on the eastern seaboard, and you want to be a cowboy or cowgirl living on a western prairie. Your personal life's goals are likely to be in conflict, and there are features of one's "mission" or "purpose" in life that must make use of masculinity, femininity, or passion that form yet another connection between the unconscious, reptillian brain and the higher brain.

BACK TO INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION 

Being transparent is a character "vice of excess" stemming from what would otherwise be a character virtue in the form of honesty. It is intellectually narcissistic, which is to say that it contains either the intellectual narcissism of ignorance or prejudice. One may be ignorant of how much privacy that another person wants to hear from you ("TMI" - too much information), overestimating their empathy, or making them uncomfortable, such as seen in the comedic series, Seinfeld, the episode called, "Close Talkers." Transparency may be prejudicial against those who value their privacy and want to be left alone. In this case, transparency can verge on the "obnoxious."

Someone who is "trasparent," is by definition, advertising their private selves to the point of losing the courtesy, diplomacy, and good boundaries of retaining mutual respect (and the enjoyment of slow discovery of the identity of the other person.) See anything on the internet for examples of the abuse of transparency.   However, all human beings communicate on a spectrum between being overly transparent, and too chicanerous to gain the trust of their audience. This highlights the central psychological skill that counters vices: maturity, which contains the Observing Ego to scan the environment for its composition and needs, matching that to what we endeavor in that social environment.

As a vice which makes partnership within relationships fail to get to goals, and intellectually unattractive, consider this vice to be negative in many ways, including in sexual attraction, since it is "wearing one's heart on their sleeve."

RETURN TO CHARACTER COMPATIBILITY

A concept from Evolutionary Psychology, popularized by Dr Paul McLean, which conceives of the human mind as having three semi-independent processing modules, as one would see in the software of a computer.

The first, called the Reptilian Brain, is responsible for bodily processes, instincts, and survival and reproductive functions. In Romantic Dynamics, it takes on the functions of two individuals developing the first phase of human courtship: sexual attraction. It is unconscious and automatic, instinct based.

The second module, called the Mammalian Brain, is responsible for emotional function, and response to stress, and in the Romantic Dynamics Model, it takes on functions of forming friendships based on personality compatibility, as well as self-esteem, love, and general emotional happiness in a romance. This is the emotional attraction phase of human courtship, the second phase.

The third module, called the Higher Brain, is responsible for intellectual and executive function. As such, it is the conscious mind, and has functions in language, as well as setting humans apart (and presumably above) other animals. In Romantic Dynamics, it is responsible for the intellectual attraction phase of courtship, the final phase in which a couple finds long term alliance in a partnership. In this model, it is presumed to take on functions that see each member of the couple striving for both their personal goals and joint goals as a couple, successfully. More so than what one can accomplish alone as a single.

"Two-factor Authentication" is a term we use for combining these two sets of four factors, to make a total of 16 Cardinal Virtues of Romance - the permutation and combination of each of four skills of intellectual attraction with four common beneficial features of intellectual attraction which also make an individual successful in life.

The Four Skills of Commitment that smooth our teamwork are also called the "4 C's" - Curiosity, Communication, Compromise, and Collaboration. One leads to the next, for example, we won't even bother to communicate if one or both of us lack curiosity. We can't begin to compromise and join resources if we can't communicate accurately and with appeal, and we certainly can't collaborate, if we have very different agendas and conflicting life's goals, having not gone through the synthetic process of compromise, to prevent major "sacrifices" in the future.

The Four Traits or Commonalities of Commitment that power individual success (but also influence choice of goals) are Intelligence, Maturity, Similarity of Beliefs (and Preferences), and Similarity of Life's Goals. It is important to remember that the power of the commonalities of Commitment rests in the fact that they are "in common": Two people with similar intelligence, similar maturity, similar beliefs, and similar life's goals. One person, alone, cannot carry all the weight of the team with these, and so they should be used early, in screening a date, boyfriend or girlfriend as a potential partner. In addition, large differences in these four, results in a "difference in cultural background" - the two people are "just too different to be compatible," a problem that just can't be overcome by more intelligence, more maturity, or more of any of the virtues, like heroism, resilience, or others. Many people beat their head against a wall over this, thinking, "If only I could be even more X, better, smarter, etc," then things will work out. They won't, without commonality of a majority of these traits.

Combining the first four with the latter four, give us 16 Cardinal Virtues of all intellectual, goal-oriented romantic connections to a mate, even though one can have hundreds of kinds of virtues to their character. In the example at left, we see the Trait of Life's Goals combine with the Skill of Collaboration to give us the last important Virtue of Commitment, or "Cardinal Virtue" or "character virtue" a partner needs to cultivate in order to be a solid partner in romance, for life: Resilience.

In addition, the uniqueness of our own attachments and identifications with our specific and unique parents, and the random lot we have been given in being born to our particular parents will result in tendencies of being intellectually attracted to particular kinds of people with traits similar to our opposite sex parent, and to having made part of our core character tendencies, similar traits of our same sex parent. This occurs through the imprinting processes of attachment and identification, respectively.

These will lead us to wanting to find all 16 Cardinal Virtues in one person and one romance, if that were possible. But regardless of our imperfections, we can do almost all we seek to accomplish in a romantic life, if we can at least find one, what Romantic Dynamics calls, "Golden Virtue" in the potential partner. This will be the one Cardinal Virtue that the other partner both imprinted and cultivated from their own same-sex parent, and which is similar to that one virtue of our opposite-sex parent, which we found most appealing and compelling to aspire to.

If the core feature of there even being an advantage to being in a long term relationship is that of having success in getting to lifelong goals with a partner, then it might make sense to you that your union should have a combination of the 4 most crucial personal traits of a successful individual - intelligence, maturity, beliefs, and goals - combined with the 4 most crucial skills of any pairing on a team, or partnership - curiosity, communication, compromise (synthesis), and collaboration (execution.)

With this in mind, let us look at the 16 Cardinal Virtues that define Step 8 of courtship.

The 16 Cardinal Virtues of Romance

THE PARTNERSHIP SKILL OF CURIOSITY

The first skill of partnership in a long-term romantic relationship is perhaps the most important: CURIOSITY. It means more than just an interest in current events. It means having an active mind that asks kind questions of ourselves and our partners, and without it, we cannot build the other three Skills of Commitment, or Partnership.

Curiosity means that we don't just believe anything we read, or gossip we hear, but we are willing to investigate the emotional truth of any matter, and by using the psychological core skill of personal growth, Observing Ego, we are awake and aware to what is happening in our relationship and our environment, willing to grow and change with them both. Without Observing Ego, and therefore, without Curiosity as a skill, we end up with major regrets in our relationships. These 4 Virtues, below, can guarantee you a leg up on having more curiosity in your relationship.

Scholarliness: Intelligence + Curiosity ➳

Scholarliness is a combination of the skill of Curiosity with the trait of intelligence. Curiosity, you may remember, is largely composed of the core psychological skill of Observing Ego, paired with an educated eye, full of "left brain" ability for detail, history, and organization. The skill of curiosity is universally useful, no matter what one's intelligence level is, but in the absence of the latter, a curious person may have a lot of obstacles and pitfalls to overcome on their life's path - like the medieval fictional character, Parcival, noble, but rife with mistakes and lessons before getting to his goals. As a result, it is very advantageous to pair someone with both ample book-learning education, yet also with a robust set of lessons in life's experience, and an inborn gift of intelligence from the start - the large capacity to efficiently fill up on both forms of learning: education AND experience.

Philosophy: Maturity + Curiosity ➳

Philosophy is a combination of the skill of curiosity with the trait of maturity. Curiosity, you may remember, is largely composed of the core psychological skill of Observing Ego, paired with an educated eye, full of "left brain" ability for detail, history, and organization. It has bearing on our performance in phase three - intellectual attraction - step eight, where we seek to amplify the best virtues toward our goals.

Honor: Beliefs + Curiosity ➳

Honor is a combination of the skill of curiosity with the trait of beliefs. Curiosity, you may remember, is largely composed of the core psychological skill of Observing Ego, paired with an educated eye, full of "left brain" ability for detail, history, and organization. Beliefs, you may recall, pertain to ideas that we deem to be true and valid, and yet carry such a large degree of emotion in them, that they are valued by us, and become such a part of our decision-making strategies, that they are far more than just ideas. We think of them as "truths" in part, because they also emerge as a function of our very identity. Honor has bearing on our performance in phase three - intellectual attraction - step eight, where we seek to amplify the best virtues toward our goals.

Aspiration: Goals + Curiosity ➳

Aspiration is a combination of the skill of curiosity with the trait of having eyes on goals. Curiosity, you may remember, is largely composed of the core psychological skill of Observing Ego, paired with an educated eye, full of "left brain" ability for detail, history, and organization. Goals, you may recall, pertain to actual accomplishments that we do not yet attain, own or control, which makes the attaining of goals, the only mature, legitimate way of actually gaining more real control over our world. We think of them as "what we want to become,"which is the same as aspiration, only if we really do care about them and have curiosity about their nature and how we might gather our resources to attain them.  They, then, also emerge as a function of our very identity. Aspiration has bearing on our performance in phase three - intellectual attraction - step eight, where we seek to amplify the best virtues toward our goals.

THE PARTNERSHIP SKILL OF COMMUNICATION

The second Skill of Partnership is one that cannot happen without Curiosity, first. Communication is more than just sending text messages and emails. It is the crucial foundation for the other two necessary long term partnership skills of Compromise and Collaboration. It is also, other than the sensations of touch and sight, the major means by which we can even convey love, through emotional expression, the Emotional Attraction, Phase 2 of Courtship.

While Sexual Attraction may be conveyed largely nonverbally, through touch and sight, Intellectual Attraction - the seeking of goals successfully as a couple, and whole purpose of Phase 3 of Courtship - would not be possible without great communication. We need to communicate accurately, dynamically, and remember that communication is both that of ideas and emotions too, simultaneously.  When we are not good at this, we essentially are crippled at loving, and find it impossible to reach success as a team and couple. These 4 Virtues below, can guarantee you success at communication.

5. Influence: Intelligence + Communication ➳

Influence is a major virtue of commitment, which is a combination of the skill of communication with the commonality, or trait of intelligence. Communication can be looked at in various ways. Simply put, it is an expression of ideas that also likely carry emotional energy as well. This makes them similar to beliefs, which have the same structure, but the difference is that beliefs are contained within us, sometimes unconsciously, until expressed to others in communication.

6. Elegance: Maturity + Communication ➳

Elegance is defined as "making the complex, simple to understand," and is composed of the skill of communicationwith the commitment trait of maturity. It is the quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner; style." A slender woman with grace and elegance" is an example.

7. Honesty: Beliefs + Communication ➳

Beliefs are first and foremost, private and personal, and so the communication of beliefs is quite honest. When you convey your ideas honestly, you include the data, but also the heart-felt emotion associated, and are taking a bit of a risk with the audience in so doing. This makes honesty a virtue, because you are being constructive and win/win in offering your ideas to others, some of which may be beneficial to them, and to you. But in choosing the wrong audience or wrong composition of the audience for your message, you may be misunderstood, or worse, unfairly criticized or attacked by them for your ideas.

8. Inspiration: Goals + Communication ➳

Beliefs are first and foremost, private and personal, and so the communication of beliefs is quite honest. When you convey your ideas honestly, you include the data, but also the heart-felt emotion associated, and are taking a bit of a risk with the audience in so doing. This makes honesty a virtue, because you are being constructive and win/win in offering your ideas to others, some of which may be beneficial to them, and to you. But in choosing the wrong audience or wrong composition of the audience for your message, you may be misunderstood, or worse, unfairly criticized or attacked by them for your ideas.

THE PARTNERSHIP SKILL OF COMPROMISE

The third skill of Commitment and Partnership - Compromise - must be in place before we can actually reach the final step of achieving success in our shared goals in life as a couple, through Collaboration. Otherwise we will be actively investing in goals, but secretly or not so secretly working at cross purposes in the 11th hour before success. We all know what the word means, and usually people assume that it is entirely composed of sacrifices of some sort, when we are discussing relationships.

However, in the Romantic Dynamics definition, we are trying to minimize "sacrifice," to instead focus on SYNTHESIS of two different people's lifelong goals and dreams. It is a discussion, and without communication ability, and curiosity to begin with, we cannot hope to get to compromises on what our shared, joint goals will be.

In a successful, long term relationship, there absolutely has to be an honoring of each individual's PERSONAL life's goals and dreams. Without this, the entire concept of a committed relationship is doomed, by way of being nothing but a giant sacrifice for both parties, or else a many-years-long bullying session, where one codependent partner dominates the other, and only one person lives their dreams while the other person is up for lifelong sacrifice. Compromise as a master Skill of Commitment, guarantees that both people "win," thorugh a constructive synthesis that joins their personal goals at the hip, to make joint, couples' goals. These four Cardinal Virtues can be cultivated to help you master Compromise at this level.

9. Authority: Intelligence + Compromise ➳

Authority is defined in the dictionary as "the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience." The nature of this term is seen as being of appeal as a trait in a partner which one needs if they are more of a thinking and feeling type person, as opposed to a "do-er." It is a character trait and virtue that you want, when you see yourself desiring a partner with a "take charge attitude." Authority is a combination of the Skill of Compromisewith the trait (or Commonality) of Intelligence.

10. Justice: Maturity + Compromise ➳

Justice is one of the mature, high character virtues which rightfully gives feedback to others in the form of guilt. As opposed to passive-aggressiveness or masochism, which seeks to dump anxiety or guilt on others, justice is meant to encourage a correction of behavior in the areas of the conscience or ethics on the part of the receiving partner, or correction of the naivete or lack of intuition on the part of the overly conscientious partner learning to execute justice.

11. Service: Beliefs + Compromise ➳

Service is defined in the dictionary as "supplying or delivery," or "a system supplying a public need such as transport, communications, or utilities such as electricity and water." The nature of this term is seen as being of appeal as a trait in a partner which one needs if they are more of a thinker and private person, but enjoy access to people and experiences other than their more comfortable, humble world. It is a character trait and virtue that you want, when you see yourself desiring a partner with both "devotion" (as in, "to a cause") and "access" or "connections." Service is a combination of the Skill of Compromise with the trait (or Commonality) of Beliefs.

12. Heroism: Goals + Compromise ➳

Heroism is defined in the dictionary as "bravery, courage, valor, intrepidity, boldness, daring, audacity, fearlessness." It is a character trait and virtue that you want, when you see yourself desiring to help or even save a partner. Heroism is a combination of the Skill of Compromise with the trait (or Commonality) of success at goals.

THE PARTNERSHIP SKILL OF COLLABORATION

The 4th and final Skill of Commitment or Partnership is the one where we finally take everything we share, and join forces and resources to actually commit to investing them in a direction toward achieving our joint goals. There is no turning back, now.  Which is why, if we didn't have Curiosity, Communication, and Compromise online first, we would be doomed to failure and the waste of our resources of time, energy and money. Without Curiosity, we shouldn't be with such a person. They are wasting our time as a pseudo-teammate in life. Without accurate and heart-felt Communication, we will be prone to error and misunderstandings that cause failure.

Without Compromise, we have not yet "synthesized" our personal goals and dreams together with joined, shared, RELATIONSHIP goals and dreams as a couple, causing such confusion, cross-purposes and sacrifice instead of success, that we would not last as a couple.

With Collaboration, we learn to work as a dynamic team, willing to change direction, fight threats, overcome obstacles, all with the full passion of the reptilian brains - our masculinity and femininity - those instincts which light up when we pursue our dreams. With Collaboration, we also become ever-tighter friends, best-friends, in fact, sharing love and the positive emotions of friendship.

Finally, it is only with Collaboration that the "two may join as one" - seen in the world's marriage rites, where the power of a team of two (at achieving goals and dreams jointly) - that a couple can consistently succeed at their dreams, time and time again. These 4 Virtues will help you master this skill as partners.

13. Competence: Intelligence + Collaboration ➳

Competence is defined in the dictionary as "the ability to do something successfully or efficiently." It is a character trait and virtue that you want when you see yourself desiring to get to a goal quickly and with the least waste of resources, which is efficiency. Competence is a combination of the Skill of Collaboration with the trait (or Commonality) of Intelligence.

14. Equanimity: Maturity + Collaboration ➳

Equanimity is defined in the dictionary as "mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation." It is a character trait and virtue that you want when you see yourself desiring to get to a goal smoothly and with the least waste of resources on drama, error, overwhelm and fear, which is obviously a function of having good boundaries with doors rather than boundary holes. Equanimity is a combination of the Skill of Collaboration with the trait (or Commonality) of Maturity.

15. Resourcefulness: Beliefs + Collaboration ➳

Resourcefulness sounds like a general term, but it is highly specific in Romantic Dynamics terminology as combining the Skill of Collaboration with the Trait or Commonality of Beliefs, to make for a person who is gifted and practiced at gathering team resources together to ready them for actual execution toward a joint goal. To others, it may seem like they can "do magic" with very little, and so the character virtue falls into the domain of natural funciton of the Magician Personality Style.

16. Resilience: Goals + Collaboration ➳

Resilience sounds like a general term, but it is highly specific in Romantic Dynamics terminology as combining the Skill of Collaboration with the Trait or Commonality of Goals and their execution and achievement, to make for a person who is gifted and practiced at actual execution toward a joint goal as a team. It may seem surprising that this character virtue is not one like "decisiveness" or 'being a winner" (although Resilience is really the ONLY way to actually "win" in the end.) It recognizes the human condition as imperfect and prone to little failures on the way to a goal, but the ability to "pick one up by the bootstraps" and persist, anyway.

Unlike Propaganda, which is mainly about ideas being "forced" into another person, Tyranny is a character "vice of excess" that is more vicious and destructive in other ways than just in ideas - financial, moral, social, even physicality may be a portion of Tyranny. A vice stemming from what would otherwise be a character virtue of Authority. It is too much dispensing of authority over achieving a goal, and like any feature of psychology, can have a range - from mere "bossy" behavior, all the way to outright abuse. In Tyranny, the partner issuing it is likely trying to control or change the other partner in some way, to fit their own life's goals - their "mission in life" or "purpose in life."

However, they may also be doing it without any goal at all, simply to dispense with their own anger or rage, and finding the other partner an acceptible (and accepting) recipient. You may notice right in that statement that the immature Ego Defense, called, "Displacement" would be used in order to execute Tyranny. (Learning about the Ego Defenses, you will find them to be a handy, objective measure of a personal character maturity level.)

It is pathologically narcissistic to be tyrannical of course, given that it is pretty much the definition of destructiveness, and "win/lose" behavior - confrontational with hostility for no good purpose, manipulative perhaps, or just outright abusive, Tyranny may come out late in codependence, when one or the other partner starts to dominate all the psychological resources of the couple, selfishly.

The other vice of Authority as a virtue is called, "Abdication," where a person "throws up their hands" in terms of Authority.

Someone who issues "tyranny," is by definition, controlling in nature, of poor boundaries, narcissistic, and disregarding of the sacrosanct nature of your "purpose" or "mission" in life. Your life's goals and dreams are the most precious things you have, more even than the romance itself. Tyranny, or abuse, directed counter to the goals and dreams of a mate shows poor boundaries and a lack of respect for the very life of the other person, beyond even their ideas or emotions. It is their spirit itself - their masculinity or femininity - that is at risk of being hijacked or depleted, and needs their own recapturing of equal Authority in the relationship as its virtuous cure.

As a vice which makes partnership within relationships fail to get to goals, and intellectually unattractive, consider this vice to be negative in many ways, including in sexual attraction, since it actually depletes the reserves of one's own, or the other partner's masculinity or femininity, making them less attractive and feeling less attracted back to you.

RETURN TO CHARACTER COMPATIBILITY