Unlike Resignation, which is mainly about ideas being "abandoned" by your partner, about your dreams, Abdication is a character "vice of deficit" that is more vicious and destructive in other ways than just in ideas - financial, moral, social, even physical neglect of you as a partner, may be a portion of Abdication. A vice stemming from what would otherwise be a character virtue of Authority. It is taking [Read more...] about Abdication

Being abstruse is a character "vice of deficit" stemming from what would otherwise be a character virtue in the form of elegance. It is intellectually narcissistic, which is to say that it contains either the intellectual narcissism of ignorance or prejudice. One may be ignorant of the maturity level of the audience for an elegant idea, or may be prejudicial against those who can't understand and process more complex concepts, just [Read more...] about Abstruse

Many of us have heard of the “5 stages of grief”: the process where denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance help us get over a major loss, such as that of a person from our lives. The final resting point where stability is regained is considered to be acceptance, a condition of equanimity and peace, and if you consider it in terms of solid boundaries, a person who has a [Read more...] about Acceptance

Achilles was a Greek hero of the Trojan War and the central character and greatest warrior of Homer's Iliad. His mother was the immortal Thetis, and his father, the mortal King Peleus.

Achilles' most notable feat during the Trojan War was the slaying of the Trojan hero Hector outside the gates of Troy. Although the death of Achilles is not presented in the Iliad, other sources concur that [Read more...] about Achilles Instinct

Actaeon was the hunting companion of Artemis who, seeing her naked in her sacred spring, lost control of himself. She was bathing in the woods when he stumbled across her, thus seeing her naked. Actaeon stopped and stared, amazed at her ravishing beauty. This is the natural instinct in males to adore the physical beauty in women - the "wandering eye" which is an expression of masculinity and empassioning to [Read more...] about Actaeon Instinct

Direct expression in action of an unconscious wish, instinct or impulse, without conscious awareness of the emotion underlying the behavior. It is literally letting the instincts run our behavior without filtering or intervention by our boundaries, ethics, or other features of behaving in a socially civilized way, most often caused by a lack of Observing Ego skill.

This is the instinct-driven behavior of teens who are in the midst of [Read more...] about Acting Out

Addiction is a passive response to anxiety, seen in detail on the Anxiety Map, in which one seeks avoidance of a threat (by hiding inside from it), or impulsively striking out at the threat without thinking it through, which has been called, "aggression," which is a cross-over point (via the Reptilian Brain) to the Anger Map. As such, addiction, impulsivity and avoidance are forms of anxiety, in which one is [Read more...] about Addiction

Adonis is traditionally the god of "good looks" in men, but in Romantic Dynamics, the term also refers to the charm and enjoyment of "the boy in the man" - meaning a youthful, playful attitude, not just good looks.

Smyrna, daughter of Theias, king of Assyria, conceives a child by him through trickery. Theias finds out and is determined to kill her, when the gods intervene and turn her [Read more...] about Adonis Instinct

Like intellectual Bombast or physical Abdication, which are vices about wasting one's own status at the cost of our joint success, "overly pessimistic" or "overwhelmed, stress-case" behavior, or Alarm is a character "vice of deficit of Equanimity" that sees one as being the essence of "win/lose" or destructive. Only in this case, it is about "the dramatic stress-case of a partner" burning the resources when have no assurance of [Read more...] about Alarm

Altruism is another virtue we all tend to be taught in school and in religious training. To give alms to the poor, or a tithe, or to share with other children in kindergarten makes sense to teach, but why?

The Evolutionary Psychologists point us toward the concept of kinship and reciprocal altruism among animals, and especially, mammals, where we find an evolutionary advantage in occasionally sharing our resources with other [Read more...] about Altruism

Ambition in having Hubris is a vice of excess related to the corresponding virtue of Aspiration. It is a kind of Aspiration on steroids, to the point of ignoring the needs of a partner, and also their potential, highly useful or even crucial contributions to a goal.

Marriage and commitment have a way of forcing us to reconsider our long-held goals, sometimes to align them better to the needs of [Read more...] about Ambition

There is a great deal of sound financial advice out there for the young starting out in the workforce. The “Millionaire Calculator” at timevalue.com estimates that if at a 2.3% return rate and 25% income tax rate, you were to save about 2000$/month for the next 30 years, you would have a million dollars.

Taking this idea of altruism further in its financial implications, we consider the role of having [Read more...] about Anticipation

You might be familiar with the Greek myth of Helen of Troy, the “face that launched a thousand ships.”  The legend says that Helen was the most beautiful woman in the world and queen to King Menelaus of Greece.  When the Trojan, Paris sweeps her off her feet, it leads to an epic and tragic war that claims the life of Paris.  Aphrodite was the goddess who offered the hand [Read more...] about Aphrodite Instinct

Apollo is the patron of an inherent trait that any human, male or female can easily summon: that of curiosity about the world, the mind, and the mind of the opposite sex.  Curiosity as the core trait of Apollo fits him, because he was also the god of prophecy, healing, plague, music, poetry, and essentially an intellectual variety that reenergizes that original sexual attractor in men, of “mysteriousness”.

Apollo to [Read more...] about Apollo Instinct

Arachne was a talented mortal weaver who challenged Athena, goddess of wisdom and crafts, to a weaving contest; this narcissism resulted in her being transformed into a spider by Aphrodite, as punishment. There are many versions of the story's weaving contest, but the usefulness of this feminine instinct rests in its way of balancing ambition versus shedding one's own narcissism - a cautionary tale equivalent to the tale of Narcissus [Read more...] about Arachne Instinct

The Ares Instinct of masculinity is the instinctual/reflex system of the male reptilian brain that just loves a challenge, competition with other men, and the pleasure of winning for winning’s sake. With every ambition to overcome a challenge - at battle in the worlds of career and love, which to men are literally Darwin’s survival, and reproduction - men feel a jolt of life-affirming energy called masculinity. As with [Read more...] about Ares Instinct

The Ariadne Instinct in the female wants to belong to a cause with meaning and purpose, and to contribute and be honored for what she, uniquely, among all women—is the only one who could do what she does.
Daughter of King Minos who terrified the Athenians with the Minotaur and his Labyrinth, Ariadne falls in love with the Athenian hero, Theseus and helps him kill the Minotaur with her slender, [Read more...] about Ariadne Instinct

Artemis was the daughter of Zeus and Leto, and the twin sister of Apollo – making her a rather “intellectual” goddess, the “Renaissance Woman” to Apollo’s “Renaissance Man” – the goddess of feminine accuracy and discriminating judgment of the world around us (and of the qualities in a man.) Her judgement ability made her a perfect complement to the drive for justice in Athena.  The Artemis Instinct is then [Read more...] about Artemis Instinct

Like intellectual Usurpation ("bossy behavior") or physical Tyranny, which are vices about bullying someone, or conniving to selfishly take their resources (like time or energy), or actual possessions (like money) at the cost of their joint success, like its reference virtue, Artifice involves cleverness, but "clever or cunning devices or expedients, especially as used to trick or deceive others."  It is a character "vice of excess of Resourcefulness" in [Read more...] about Artifice

Aspiration is a combination of the skill of curiosity with the trait of having eyes on goals. Curiosity, you may remember, is largely composed of the core psychological skill of Observing Ego, paired with an educated eye, full of "left brain" ability for detail, history, and organization. Goals, you may recall, pertain to actual accomplishments that we do not yet attain, own or control, which makes the attaining [Read more...] about Aspiration

When we use assertiveness, we are literally transforming the negative emotional energy of anger into positive energy, called, "well-being."  This form of self-esteem is defined as a feeling of comfort and satisfaction, as one's needs are met, a feeling of the maternal, or of being mothered. And so assertiveness is how mature adults, "mother themselves."

It is a constructive, "win/win" decision to make with one's anger, and takes mature character [Read more...] about Assertiveness

The Athena Instinct is the feminine instinct for battle and conflict, fairness, justice, and achievement in a civilization. Her's is the feminine gift for discernment of virtue, as the goddess would favor one or the other of two warring armies, and make them win. This instinct is crucial in Step 3 of Sexual Attraction, where now that the couple has expressed preference for each other with their Zeus Instinct and [Read more...] about Athena Instinct

Attachment is the most definitive form of imprinting, also called the "Oedipus," by Freud, attachment is the unconscious, passionate desire and dependence on the opposite sex parent in our youth. It is "turned on" only in the right conditions - where it is safe to do so, reliable to do so, and needed by the baby. In adult life, the same holds true or we will not even choose the [Read more...] about Attachment

A Reptilian Brain response to anxiety, in which one "flees," or hides from the threat or loss. It is a part of addiction as a mode of processing anxiety, and is built into the survival instinct called the "Fight or Flight Instinct."