Independence is a state of connection between two people which, like an opposite to the state of intimacy, allows someone to reorient themselves to their personal identity, beliefs, limits and preferences. In occasional use, it lends balance to a mature, romantic relationship.

Like the proverbial "porridge" being too hot or too cold, imabalnce in the use of independence is bad for a lasting relationship, instead of being just right. Too [Read more...] about Independence

Influence is a major virtue of commitment, which is a combination of the skill of communication with the commonality, or trait of intelligence. Communication can be looked at in various ways. Simply put, it is an expression of ideas that also likely carry emotional energy as well. This makes them similar to beliefs, which have the same structure, but the difference is that beliefs are contained within us, sometimes unconsciously, [Read more...] about Influence

Initiation into adulthood, which is taking the parental interactions of youth, into the adult world. We finalize in our identity, the traits of our own same-sex parent - to use when we have no one else to rely on but ourselves. We are alone. Our parents are gone, yet we still need to harvest the lessons of adulthood from them.

Where "initiation rituals" of the past, formalized the process [Read more...] about Initiation

Like intellectual Pedantry or physical Tyranny, which are vices about taking over a partner's status at the cost of our own success, "overly optimistic" or "Pollyanna" behavior, or Insouciance is a character "vice of excess of Equanimity" that sees one as being the essence of "win/lose" or destructive. Only in this case, it is about "the blind leading the blind" as if we have resources and power to please [Read more...] about Insouciance

Inspiration is defined in the dictionary as either "drawing in breath," or "the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something." Both of these make sense in terms of yet another link between the reptilian brain and the higher brain, because it is a "higher-brained way" of directly stimulating someone's identity-level sense of vitality and excitement to be alive.

Here is why. It is composed [Read more...] about Inspiration

Sometimes when you are dating or considering a relationship with a smart person, it can make you pull your hair out. You want to understand them as a real person and feel emotion in them, but no matter what you do, they always have a logical, intellectual way of explaining away how things feel, favoring instead, how things work. Alternatively, you may find that they tend to get [Read more...] about Intellectualization

One of the 4 traits that make a person successful, coming from both an inborn and cultivated gift, and one of the 4 needed Commonalities of Commitment in a mate one seeks for long term romance.

Romantic Dynamics defines the Intellect as a "style" of acquiring data - a certain amount of Left-brained activity and a certain amount of Right-brained activity, in which there can be placed a certain measurable [Read more...] about Intelligence

Intention is the virtuous, mature opposite of suffering, which instead of burning time, energy and money on an attempt at controlling an uncontrollable thing about life, we instead do our best to strategize, and align resources to set goals and achieve them. It is a kind of preparedness for actions in striving for a goal, with the highest likelihood of achieving it.

Intention could be considered to be the combination [Read more...] about Intention

Interdependence is a state of connection between two people which is dynamic and adaptable to the changing conditions of both partners, and also the environment around them. It adjusts between occasional states of intimacy, and at other times, a state of independence from each other. In the case of interdependence, there must be a preponderance between the two people, of having more boundary doors in their personal boundary than other [Read more...] about Interdependence

Intimacy gives us a state of togetherness in a relationship, with shared self-esteem that in balance, produces happiness and resistance to the hurt, grief, and loss of stress. It affords sharing of resources that must occur in a lasting partnership, and makes two, compatible partners, more effective at reaching individual and shared goals than either could, alone.

When there is not enough of it, the couple is overly independent, and [Read more...] about Intimacy

This is one of those defenses which can be an incredibly healthy thing when it is either age-appropriate or suitable to adaptive needs that fit the context of our lives. It demonstrates how evolutionarily crucial the ego defenses are for our growth and development, and how it is that - maturity appropriate to our age at the time - they may even manage to save us from trouble in the [Read more...] about Introjection

Intrusiveness, or Manipulativeness, is a character "vice of excess" stemming from what would otherwise be a character virtue in the form of Influence. Both are narcissistic traits, just like any vice would be, but in the use of the word, "intrusiveness," we are highlighting the nature of the poor boundaries involved for those who invade the privacy, ideas, beliefs and space of others. Use of the word, "Manipulation" or "manipulative," [Read more...] about Intrusiveness

Intuition is something that guides our decisions in terms of what the likely effect of choosing a particular environment to operate within will have on US. And whether the specific decisions in that environment are likely to have the social surrounds treat us back kindly or beneficially for us to reach our goals. It is a kind of "shrewdness"" about knowing people and environments that we start out in life, [Read more...] about Intuition