The girlish nymph Echo would often entertain Zeus' wife, Hera, with long and distracting stories at Zeus's behest, so that he could go womanizing. As time went on, Hera discovered the trickery, and became so furious she punished the over-talkative Echo by taking away her natural voice, replacing it with the sound-alike repetition of another's words. Thus, all Echo could do was repeat the voice of another. The Echo Instinct [Read more...] about Echo Instinct

Education is a general term used for describing "book learning," often at early stages of going from novice to expert at something. However, in Romantic Dynamics, we use it specifically as a way of describing the kind of data that we take in, learn, catalogue and arrange in neat, accessible order in our "Left Brain." This is a type of data, then, that fills our memory and our intellectual [Read more...] about Education

The Ego Boundary is a conception unique to Romantic Dynamics in that the traditional view of a personal boundary is not very developed out in visual pictorial form to start with, although many in the literature reference some of its general properties pertaining to relating to the outside world, beyond our inner experience. This concept certainly has use in our social and romantic lives.

In Romantic Dynamics, we lay [Read more...] about Ego Boundary

The Ego Defenses, also called, "Defense Mechanisms," are well-known to psychoanalysts who help clients along toward ever more mature behavior, but for purposes of Romantic Dynamics, we can envision them as universal and largely unconscious, automatic social habits of behavior, and which are useful, adaptable behaviors that suit one's age and developmental level in most cases.

Where things go wrong is when someone is stunted in their psychological growth, or [Read more...] about Ego Defenses

Elegance is defined as "making the complex, simple to understand," and is composed of the skill of communication with the commitment trait of maturity. It is the quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner; style." A slender woman with grace and elegance" is an example.

Communication can be looked at in various ways. Simply put, it is an expression of ideas that also likely carry emotional energy [Read more...] about Elegance

This defense really shouldn’t be called a defense at all. It’s a strength, it’s common sense, and a virtue.  If there is any reflection of the direct connection between the defenses and one’s personal boundary function, this one is the best of the best as an example.

We discussed flaws or holes in our boundaries in prior sections as being associated with any vague, dramatic emotional experience, especially that of [Read more...] about Emotional Self-regulation

This virtue of character and mature defense mechanism has, as its basis, not being dependent on the validation or approval of others. As such, you might consider it “self-love” or “self-respect.”

This virtue or mature defense takes all the shared teamwork aspects of the teamwork between a high character couple and turns it on its ear - looking at the privacy and rejuvenation that is necessary in balance for making [Read more...] about Emotional Self-sufficiency

Equanimity is defined in the dictionary as "mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation." It is a character trait and virtue that you want when you see yourself desiring to get to a goal smoothly and with the least waste of resources on drama, error, overwhelm and fear, which is obviously a function of having good boundaries with doors rather than boundary holes. Equanimity is [Read more...] about Equanimity

When Eros was dispatched by Aphrodite to spoil Psyche for eternity by marrying her to Death himself, he slipped and pricked himself with his own arrows of love, falling hopelessly in love with Psyche herself.  Whisking her away to his hidden and mysterious abode under cover of darkness, he established his one “rule of marriage” (not unlike that of Bluebeard many centuries later.) The rule was that she may never [Read more...] about Eros Instinct

Conscience, or ethics, is something that guides our decisions in terms of what the likely effect will be on others in those decisions. Will it be destructive (win/lose) or constructive (win/win) toward others. fter we make a decision, either constructive or destructive, we get to learn whether the effect was conscientious, or ethical, by way of feedback from others. And so our "tank" of conscience or ethics fills a bit. [Read more...] about Ethics

The outright ignoring of a moral or psychological problem in the self, which is perceived as a deficiency in another individual or group. A prime example of this exists in the history of Nazi Germany, where a whole people, the Jews, were blamed en masse, for the economic failings of the whole German people. In the context of our everyday relationships, you might simply call this, “finger-pointing.” Any “divorce movie” [Read more...] about Extreme Projection